Prison Life Aficionados Gifts

'One 10 by 8 for the wife, and a dozen postcard size for the rest of the gang...'

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"You ever done time?"

Prisoner on the run - tread mill.

Prison bus - "Race you for a window seat."

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

"In the movie about the New York prison escapees, I'd like to see Jack Nicholson as Richard Matt and Woody Harrelson as David Sweat."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'Here comes the warden. Let's see you try to dance your way out of this one.'

'Sure, you can escape, but you never escape unscathed.'

Get you anything while I'm out?

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

"I found your contact lens."

FISH ESCAPE.

"Bit of a hitch, guys - it may not be viable for me to return to the office just yet."

Santa visits prison.

"Long story short, twenty minutes ago I wuz foolin' around on the prison computer... pressed the 'escape' key, and here I am!"

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

It's stopped raining. I think I'll be going!

WARDEN, 'You're a bad influence around here, Murdock!'

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

"It's like home from home in here. The rules and regulations are very similar."

"I couldn’t get a date on the outside and now I’m swamped with marriage proposals!"

A prison inmate is typing prison tally marks in his laptop computer.

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

'How's my appeal going?', 'How's your tunnel going?'