Prison Comic Gifts

Horizontal stripes make you look fat.

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Tic-tac-toe

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'Hey. You're back.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates