Prison Comic Pillows

Horizontal stripes make you look fat.

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Tic-tac-toe

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

Sweet Jailbreak

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

Prison Wallpaper.

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

You gonna eat your pickle?

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'Hey. You're back.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates