Prison Chaplain Gifts

'-and which commandment did you break?'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'My final request? How about 'Who Put The Overalls In Mrs. Murphy's Chaowder?''

'When you said you wrote to prisoners on death row I thought ou offered spiritual guidance.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Madoff and devil.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'Are you free at the moment?'

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

Freedom Book.

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Escape?...Why?'

Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'Well, now we know -- blaming the victim DOESN'T work.'

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

When staffing agencies screw up.

Prisoner Trump