Canine Chaplain Gifts

Good Dog!

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

"Okay, who's purring?"

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

"I'm afraid the diagnosis isn't good."

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).

Emergency Bible for deathbed conversions only.

'Church of the Divine Healing with an Emergency Room.'

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

Base chapel.

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

"The thing is we lived in L.A.,...we never even needed mittens!"

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.