Prison Lawyer Gifts

"We get this place renamed the 'men-only prison,' and women will be demanding admission."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"We make crime pay."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"