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"We get this place renamed the 'men-only prison,' and women will be demanding admission."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"We make crime pay."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"