Preschool Humor Gifts

'I pre-flunked.'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

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'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"She's a natural!"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Teacher's pet dog

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Billy strip: help with homework.