Preschool Humor Gifts

'I pre-flunked.'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

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"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"She's a natural!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

Teacher's pet dog

Billy strip: help with homework.

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'