Children's Humor Gifts

"The economy is slowing down, last night the tooth fairy left me an iou"

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'Yes, bedwetting can be an issue, but there's no need to make a big deal of it...'

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"I take it your're not one of her favourites."

'Think of it as a valentine, not a heart transplant.'

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

"It's called a 'bookmark.' It's like a 'save progress' option."

Some said she exploited her youthful allure...

'I hate the race race.'

Kid with cotton wool in his ears

Fat Kid 20- Thinks he has found a spare head

"Stripes are very unfashionable."

"For someone who doesn't have a job, I sure have a lot of bosses."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

Ig and Igloo

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'