Kids' Humor Gifts

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

hey good lookin ( 'six summers' card range idea)

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

'I didn't know you had a heated pool!'

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

The cell phone soother for life.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Adult Absence Notes.

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"I'm training him."

'....How many babies are you going to have, mommy?"

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'