Kids' Humor Pillows

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

hey good lookin ( 'six summers' card range idea)

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

'I didn't know you had a heated pool!'

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

The cell phone soother for life.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

Adult Absence Notes.

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"I'm training him."

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'....How many babies are you going to have, mommy?"

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'