Children's Humor Pillows

"The economy is slowing down, last night the tooth fairy left me an iou"

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'Yes, bedwetting can be an issue, but there's no need to make a big deal of it...'

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"I take it your're not one of her favourites."

'Think of it as a valentine, not a heart transplant.'

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

"It's called a 'bookmark.' It's like a 'save progress' option."

Some said she exploited her youthful allure...

'I hate the race race.'

Kid with cotton wool in his ears

Fat Kid 20- Thinks he has found a spare head

"Stripes are very unfashionable."

"For someone who doesn't have a job, I sure have a lot of bosses."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

Ig and Igloo

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

Adult Absence Notes.