Child Humor Pillows

"I'm training him."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

'Don't worry about me, mom, I'll be fine as long as you keep working!'

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

'I don't feel that bad.'

'It's not fair 'Bogie'...they took away my video camera...did you ever hear them say anything about not hiding behind the shower curtain and filming visitors on the can?'

"There's definitely enough growing room."

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

"You only said clean up anything we spill. I threw that."

'Beats me why, but it's a sensitive subject: Some people will call you a Buffalo while others will call you a Bison...'

"The economy is slowing down, last night the tooth fairy left me an iou"

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'I didn't know you had a heated pool!'

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

'You think you need WHAT glands expressed?'

Ig and Igloo