Child Comedian Pillows

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'I don't feel that bad.'

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'It's not fair 'Bogie'...they took away my video camera...did you ever hear them say anything about not hiding behind the shower curtain and filming visitors on the can?'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

The Amazing Mr Sausage

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

"I'm training him."

"So much for eternal rest."

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.

'Have you washed your hands?'

"You can call me a sanitary engineer, but to me it's still taking out the trash."