Child Comedian Pillows

'I've got acid indigestion.'

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

'I don't feel that bad.'

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'It's not fair 'Bogie'...they took away my video camera...did you ever hear them say anything about not hiding behind the shower curtain and filming visitors on the can?'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"He tried to attack me with this, but I managed to grab it from him and knock him out before he did me in."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

"So much for eternal rest."

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.

"I'm training him."