Little Comedian Pillows

'Have you washed your hands?'

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"I won't enumerate my trespasses. You know my work."

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

'The fringe will county fifty points and the bald spot a hundred, ok?'

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"Mum, I need a twinkle"

'He's at that difficult age. Too little to be a hunk and too young to be a couch potatoe.'

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"My standard rule is - if I've seen a relative in the last two weeks, I don't have to kiss them."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'She'll never look for me here.'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"I tested very high in playing."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"