Childhood Comedian Pillows

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

"I've kept my socks on, Mum, because I already washed my feet yesterday."

"Mom, I think I'm old enough to trade in my piggy bank for an ATM."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.

'Have you washed your hands?'

"You can call me a sanitary engineer, but to me it's still taking out the trash."

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

'I can't play. I'm going 'Time Out Chair' shopping with my mom.'