Childhood Comedian Pillows

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

"I've kept my socks on, Mum, because I already washed my feet yesterday."

"Mom, I think I'm old enough to trade in my piggy bank for an ATM."

"Did you say girl cheese sandwiches? Why can't I have a boy cheese sandwich?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

The Amazing Mr Sausage

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"He tried to attack me with this, but I managed to grab it from him and knock him out before he did me in."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.