Childhood Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'I really enjoy our sandbox time together, Aiden, but I don't think I'm ready to commit to a long-term relationship.'

"I've had to whine hard for everything I've ever really wanted."

"I don't wet the bed anymore. We pay someone to come in and wet it for me."

'Has he taken my chocolates?'

"I didn't have enough money to buy him a treat at the checkout. He had an economic meltdown."

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

It's all gravy.

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

My corn is undercooked. It hasn't even popped!

Knight of the sandcastle.

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"There's definitely enough growing room."

"Mom, I think I'm old enough to trade in my piggy bank for an ATM."

"Jenny, your play date's here!"

Truce?

'You think you need WHAT glands expressed?'

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'