Childish Humor Fan Pillows

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"Technically, it's a mammal."

Suffering from Cooties?

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

Sperm Whale.

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'I want you to bring me one.'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

Cleaning up space junk.

"I hope you've had your shots!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

Toilet humour

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

I owe you an apology for not believing you have back pain.

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

I'm starting to think I was adopted.