Childish Humor Fan Pillows

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"Technically, it's a mammal."

Suffering from Cooties?

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'I want you to bring me one.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"I hope you've had your shots!"

Cleaning up space junk.

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

Toilet humour

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

"No, William. This is your new little brother, Christopher. Not William 2.0."