Kiddie Comedian Pillows

'When did you decide to get all fancy and tie your shoes?'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

"So much for eternal rest."

'Hello, my name is Death'

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

'Have you washed your hands?'