Kiddie Comedian Gifts

'When did you decide to get all fancy and tie your shoes?'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

The Amazing Mr Sausage

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"He tried to attack me with this, but I managed to grab it from him and knock him out before he did me in."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

"So much for eternal rest."

'Hello, my name is Death'

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.

'I'm a loaf of bread.'