Mini Comedian Pillows

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

hey good lookin ( 'six summers' card range idea)

'In a few years, I'll marry Bill. I don't like him very much, that's why I start saving money now... Good divorce lawyers are expensive'!

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

A baby playing on a grand piano

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

"I tested very high in playing."

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'