Junior Comedian Pillows

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

Toothless Meal

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

The Amazing Mr Sausage

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."