Teenager Humorist Pillows

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.

Hoody Woodpecker.

"Today I found out a teacher can call on you even if you have location services turned off."

"Romeo & Juliet were totally hooking up! ...but then things got weird."

"You can call me a sanitary engineer, but to me it's still taking out the trash."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

"Can I take out a loan for an ice cream cone?"

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

"I hope you love kids - there goes your boss."

History 101: 'This class should be easy! I've heard that history continuously repeats itself!'

"Do you really think this will work?"

"It's amazing how much Junior has changed after only a few weeks away at college..."

'Davey can't come out! He's got the weasles!'

Good study habits based on honesty will serve you well all your life! Employers look for trustworthy people who don't cheat! Values Assembly. Who's she talking about? It sure doesn't apply to me. I'm going to be a hedge fund manager. Yeah? Well, I'm headed to Hollywood!

'Wow. He looks great for 5!'

"Who made this mess?"

"To what do you attribute your longevity."

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."