Young Humorist Pillows

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'My lab partner wants a prenuptial agreement!'

'Davey can't come out! He's got the weasles!'

'Just where do you expect me to sleep? Your closet's full of junk and have you looked under your bed lately?'

'I may not know all the answers. I'm only eight seasons old.'

Kid with dog pool toy reads sign at swimming pool saying 'No dogs allowed'.

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

"Do you really think this will work?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"He's an indoor cat."

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

The Devil making snow angels.

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'Okay, okay! You can have a lick of my sucker.'

"Romeo & Juliet were totally hooking up! ...but then things got weird."

"Today I found out a teacher can call on you even if you have location services turned off."

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"You can call me a sanitary engineer, but to me it's still taking out the trash."

"There's definitely enough growing room."

'It certainly sounds like a fantastic offer, but I'm not supposed to answer the phone.'

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

History 101: 'This class should be easy! I've heard that history continuously repeats itself!'

"I hope you love kids - there goes your boss."

"I'm not sure if that's William Shatner or Deadpool without his mask."