Youth Humorist Pillows

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"He's an indoor cat."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

Mice taking lessons.