Youthful Humor Pillows

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

Toilet humour

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"Greatest Band?"

"Mom, does granddad want me to run away? He's playing that Disco music again!"

High pants/Low pants.

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

'How can you tell?'

'Davey can't come out! He's got the weasles!'

"Do you really think this will work?"

"This is my mom's phone. Instead of a hashtag, it has a pound sign."

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

"Who made this mess?"

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

'Mom, when did your beauty start to slip?'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

'Just where do you expect me to sleep? Your closet's full of junk and have you looked under your bed lately?'

"My dad says at some point in your life, fashion isn't important anymore. You basically wear nylon slacks and guayaberas every day."

"I can't wait till I'm old enough to hold my nose and vote."