Youthful Humor Gifts

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

Toilet humour

Bubbies and technology

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"Mom, does granddad want me to run away? He's playing that Disco music again!"

"Greatest Band?"

High pants/Low pants.

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

'Davey can't come out! He's got the weasles!'

"This is my mom's phone. Instead of a hashtag, it has a pound sign."

'How can you tell?'

"Do you really think this will work?"

'Wow. He looks great for 5!'

"Who made this mess?"

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

'Mom, when did your beauty start to slip?'

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

"My dad says at some point in your life, fashion isn't important anymore. You basically wear nylon slacks and guayaberas every day."

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'Just where do you expect me to sleep? Your closet's full of junk and have you looked under your bed lately?'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

I found the most amazing Youtube show. It's about an angel who helps people. Oh yeah? Yeah. And he drives around with some burly guy with a big beard. They wear '80s clothes and don't have any special effects. It's a perfect period show. Wait … are you talking about "Highway to Heaven"? That's not a period show, that was made in the '80s. Even you have to know that. Thanks for ruining it for me.

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."