Teenager Humor Gifts

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I'm training him."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Who made this mess?"

"These gas prices are crazy! By the time I'm old enough to drive...I'll only be able to date girls who live within a 1-gallon radius."

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

Toy Grab/Toy Stab.

"Is there the slightest chance of credit being eased by this weekend?"

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

'I don't care what your friends are doing. You're not leaving this house until your fix your label, young lady!'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

'Oh, I know that broccoli is good for me -- it's just that I don't feel I deserve it.'

I'm being cyberbullied. No way. Someone posted my face with a Justin Bieber haircut. Chillax, dude. The hot girls did it to half of the guys in our class. It's cyber flirting. Wow! Glad I wasn't left out.

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

'Has he taken my chocolates?'

So what if the school took a webcam picture of a kid at home? Emily? They're spying! It's totally over the line! What line?

'Washing dishes, why?'

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

The kid who learnt about math on the street

"Ipod, playstation, trainers,clothes, why couldn't you get me something really useful like condoms?!

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

Poetry corner: junior high edition

"My parents are okay too, I suppose. I just wish they weren't so...parenting!"

'These teenagers - when will they learn to lie around and do nothing all day?'