Teen Humor Fan Gifts

'No phone calls, please, until you've used up all of your dinnertime minutes.'

'Washing dishes, why?'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

Toilet humour

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

'A substitute teacher on a Friday! What an awesome way to start the weekend!'

"Yes, Eric you do need to do a duty. You know as well as I do that every dog has its day."

Fish in school to other fish: 'I did well in marine biology today - it was an open-brook test.'

'Truth is, kids, I ate your homework.'

'The ate my allegation of improper conduct against you, Sir.'

Spy School

"Listen Smith, I don't care if the older boys are picking on you or not, you have to come into school - you're the deputy head for goodness sake!"

'And then I just hit delete. I haven't actually eaten any homework in years.'

'I'll need a note from the aliens who abducted you to excuse your absence.'

"Who made this mess?"

"He's at that awkward age when he tells his teachers valuable information about his parents."

"You boys! Stop using parliamentary language in the playground!"

Principal sees a sign on faculty room: Happy Hour 3:00 - 4:30.

'Ok, who threw that?'

'Very funny, William. Take it off! You're scaring the other students.'

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

"One day, my teacher went in there and never came back out."

'The useless maths teacher couldn't count on his students.'