Teen Humor Lover Gifts

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Who made this mess?"

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

Toy Grab/Toy Stab.

'I thought you were supposed to spend green stuff.'

Student Body Socialization Program: '...and it could become very traumatic out there today, when we start forcing the cliques to intermingle.'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

Newton discovers puberty

"Lesson number one about the birds and the bees. . . it doesn't take nine months to download a baby."

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

"That growth spurt I was waiting for didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped."

'Washing dishes, why?'

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

The kid who learnt about math on the street

Poetry corner: junior high edition

"My parents are okay too, I suppose. I just wish they weren't so...parenting!"

"I wasn't sure about veganism until I saw how much it inconvenienced my parents."

"I'm only fourteen right now, but I figure by the time I get through this line I'll be old enough to drive."