Teen Humor Aficionado Gifts

Poetry corner: junior high edition

"It's a safer alternative to vaping called 'smoking'."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Who made this mess?"

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

Toy Grab/Toy Stab.

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

'Washing dishes, why?'

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

The kid who learnt about math on the street

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

"My parents are okay too, I suppose. I just wish they weren't so...parenting!"

"I'm only fourteen right now, but I figure by the time I get through this line I'll be old enough to drive."

'These teenagers - when will they learn to lie around and do nothing all day?'

"I wasn't sure about veganism until I saw how much it inconvenienced my parents."

No Radio on Board

Pick Your Own Zits.