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Poetry corner: junior high edition

"It's a safer alternative to vaping called 'smoking'."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

Hoody Woodpecker.

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Who made this mess?"

Toy Grab/Toy Stab.

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

So what if the school took a webcam picture of a kid at home? Emily? They're spying! It's totally over the line! What line?

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

I'm being cyberbullied. No way. Someone posted my face with a Justin Bieber haircut. Chillax, dude. The hot girls did it to half of the guys in our class. It's cyber flirting. Wow! Glad I wasn't left out.

'Washing dishes, why?'

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

"Ipod, playstation, trainers,clothes, why couldn't you get me something really useful like condoms?!

The kid who learnt about math on the street

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

"My parents are okay too, I suppose. I just wish they weren't so...parenting!"

"I wasn't sure about veganism until I saw how much it inconvenienced my parents."

"It's OK...he just passed out."

"I'm only fourteen right now, but I figure by the time I get through this line I'll be old enough to drive."

Introduce yourself to the new girl. Ok. I hope she doesn�t have some wacky, ethnic name. Be nice. Um�Hi! My name's Twig. Twig? What kind of wacky, ethnic name is that?

'These teenagers - when will they learn to lie around and do nothing all day?'