Teen Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.

"You can call me a sanitary engineer, but to me it's still taking out the trash."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"To what do you attribute your longevity."

"Who made this mess?"

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'No-I am NOT warming the pot!'

Toy Grab/Toy Stab.

"These gas prices are crazy! By the time I'm old enough to drive...I'll only be able to date girls who live within a 1-gallon radius."

Why Kids Don't Host Talk Shows

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

"Lucky that god gave us friends to compensate for giving us parents!"

Newton discovers puberty

'She's a hostile witness because she's missing her soaps.'

"Lesson number one about the birds and the bees. . . it doesn't take nine months to download a baby."