Teen Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

Stand up comedy for four-year-olds.

"You can call me a sanitary engineer, but to me it's still taking out the trash."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Who made this mess?"

"To what do you attribute your longevity."

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

Toy Grab/Toy Stab.

"These gas prices are crazy! By the time I'm old enough to drive...I'll only be able to date girls who live within a 1-gallon radius."

Why Kids Don't Host Talk Shows

'No-I am NOT warming the pot!'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

So what if the school took a webcam picture of a kid at home? Emily? They're spying! It's totally over the line! What line?

I'm being cyberbullied. No way. Someone posted my face with a Justin Bieber haircut. Chillax, dude. The hot girls did it to half of the guys in our class. It's cyber flirting. Wow! Glad I wasn't left out.

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

"She came in for her son's report card, but I gave her an A-honor roll student's report card by accident."

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

"Lucky that god gave us friends to compensate for giving us parents!"

Newton discovers puberty