Teenager Humor Lovers Gifts

'These teenagers - when will they learn to lie around and do nothing all day?'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

Toilet humour

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"Who made this mess?"

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

Toy Grab/Toy Stab.

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

"That growth spurt I was waiting for didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped."

Newton discovers puberty

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

"Lesson number one about the birds and the bees. . . it doesn't take nine months to download a baby."

'Washing dishes, why?'

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

Poetry corner: junior high edition

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

The kid who learnt about math on the street

"My parents are okay too, I suppose. I just wish they weren't so...parenting!"

"I wasn't sure about veganism until I saw how much it inconvenienced my parents."

"I'm only fourteen right now, but I figure by the time I get through this line I'll be old enough to drive."