Teenager Humor Lovers Gifts

'These teenagers - when will they learn to lie around and do nothing all day?'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

Toilet humour

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Who made this mess?"

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

Toy Grab/Toy Stab.

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

"Lesson number one about the birds and the bees. . . it doesn't take nine months to download a baby."

Newton discovers puberty

I'm being cyberbullied. No way. Someone posted my face with a Justin Bieber haircut. Chillax, dude. The hot girls did it to half of the guys in our class. It's cyber flirting. Wow! Glad I wasn't left out.

"That growth spurt I was waiting for didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped."

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

So what if the school took a webcam picture of a kid at home? Emily? They're spying! It's totally over the line! What line?

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

'Washing dishes, why?'

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

The kid who learnt about math on the street

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

"Ipod, playstation, trainers,clothes, why couldn't you get me something really useful like condoms?!

Poetry corner: junior high edition

"My parents are okay too, I suppose. I just wish they weren't so...parenting!"

"I wasn't sure about veganism until I saw how much it inconvenienced my parents."

"It's OK...he just passed out."

"I'm only fourteen right now, but I figure by the time I get through this line I'll be old enough to drive."

It's peaceful around here. Sadie has laryngitis. She lost her voice screaming about how she thinks our generation is totally self-obsessed. It's mean stuff, but sad too. When she can't yell, it makes her less threatening. You're stinky and half-evolved. Nice penmanship.