Teen Humor Gifts

The kid who learnt about math on the street

'These teenagers - when will they learn to lie around and do nothing all day?'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

Hoody Woodpecker.

"I'm training him."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Who made this mess?"

"Is there the slightest chance of credit being eased by this weekend?"

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

Toy Grab/Toy Stab.

"These gas prices are crazy! By the time I'm old enough to drive...I'll only be able to date girls who live within a 1-gallon radius."

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

'I don't care what your friends are doing. You're not leaving this house until your fix your label, young lady!'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

So what if the school took a webcam picture of a kid at home? Emily? They're spying! It's totally over the line! What line?

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

I'm being cyberbullied. No way. Someone posted my face with a Justin Bieber haircut. Chillax, dude. The hot girls did it to half of the guys in our class. It's cyber flirting. Wow! Glad I wasn't left out.

'Washing dishes, why?'

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

Poetry corner: junior high edition

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

"Ipod, playstation, trainers,clothes, why couldn't you get me something really useful like condoms?!

"My parents are okay too, I suppose. I just wish they weren't so...parenting!"

Introduce yourself to the new girl. Ok. I hope she doesn�t have some wacky, ethnic name. Be nice. Um�Hi! My name's Twig. Twig? What kind of wacky, ethnic name is that?

"I wasn't sure about veganism until I saw how much it inconvenienced my parents."

"It's OK...he just passed out."