Teenager Jokes Gifts

'I don't care what your friends are doing. You're not leaving this house until your fix your label, young lady!'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"So what's your definition of 'love'?"

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

'We all do a lot of stupid things when we're young. So, what'll take to remove that 'Butterball' tattoo?'

"Who made this mess?"

"Is there the slightest chance of credit being eased by this weekend?"

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

"These gas prices are crazy! By the time I'm old enough to drive...I'll only be able to date girls who live within a 1-gallon radius."

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

Global Skate Boards...senior discount: 'High school SENIORS, Dude!'

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

'It must have been the fork in the road.'

'Washing dishes, why?'

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

Poetry corner: junior high edition

The kid who learnt about math on the street

"My parents are okay too, I suppose. I just wish they weren't so...parenting!"

"I'm only fourteen right now, but I figure by the time I get through this line I'll be old enough to drive."

'These teenagers - when will they learn to lie around and do nothing all day?'