Teen Humor Fan Pillows

'No phone calls, please, until you've used up all of your dinnertime minutes.'

'Washing dishes, why?'

Introduce yourself to the new girl. Ok. I hope she doesn�t have some wacky, ethnic name. Be nice. Um�Hi! My name's Twig. Twig? What kind of wacky, ethnic name is that?

So what if the school took a webcam picture of a kid at home? Emily? They're spying! It's totally over the line! What line?

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

Toilet humour

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'A substitute teacher on a Friday! What an awesome way to start the weekend!'

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

"Yes, Eric you do need to do a duty. You know as well as I do that every dog has its day."

"Listen Smith, I don't care if the older boys are picking on you or not, you have to come into school - you're the deputy head for goodness sake!"

'The ate my allegation of improper conduct against you, Sir.'

'Truth is, kids, I ate your homework.'

Spy School

Fish in school to other fish: 'I did well in marine biology today - it was an open-brook test.'

To give more clout to his disciplining style, Principal Dave Murdock installed a wind tunnel in his office.

'And then I just hit delete. I haven't actually eaten any homework in years.'

'I'll need a note from the aliens who abducted you to excuse your absence.'

"Who made this mess?"

'Very funny, William. Take it off! You're scaring the other students.'

Principal sees a sign on faculty room: Happy Hour 3:00 - 4:30.

'Ok, who threw that?'

"You boys! Stop using parliamentary language in the playground!"