Adolescent Humor Pillows

Poetry corner: junior high edition

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

Teacher's pet dog

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"Romeo & Juliet were totally hooking up! ...but then things got weird."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

"Here's my report card. . . I'll be staying with friends for a few days!"

Calculator Jokes

"Tech support? I want to get my grades encrypted."

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

"Who made this mess?"

"Sometimes while eating in the classroom, I think about writing a children's book, which would begin, "Once upon a time there was something called a teachers' lounge. . .'."

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

Water spurting from boy's ear while he drinks from a fountain

'Please excuse Harold for not having his homework. His internet service provider's servers were down and he couldn't connect to his online homework helpline.'

"What, eat your homework? Again?"

'Oh, I know that broccoli is good for me -- it's just that I don't feel I deserve it.'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

'Write an essay on what I did last summer? Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?'