Adolescent Humor Pillows

Poetry corner: junior high edition

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

Teacher's pet dog

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"Romeo & Juliet were totally hooking up! ...but then things got weird."

Steadman - The Early Years.

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

The Jim Carrey of fish is a real cutup in shool!

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

"Here's my report card. . . I'll be staying with friends for a few days!"

Calculator Jokes

"Tech support? I want to get my grades encrypted."

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

"Who made this mess?"

"Sometimes while eating in the classroom, I think about writing a children's book, which would begin, "Once upon a time there was something called a teachers' lounge. . .'."

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

Water spurting from boy's ear while he drinks from a fountain

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'Please excuse Harold for not having his homework. His internet service provider's servers were down and he couldn't connect to his online homework helpline.'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

"What, eat your homework? Again?"

'Oh, I know that broccoli is good for me -- it's just that I don't feel I deserve it.'

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

I'm being cyberbullied. No way. Someone posted my face with a Justin Bieber haircut. Chillax, dude. The hot girls did it to half of the guys in our class. It's cyber flirting. Wow! Glad I wasn't left out.

'Write an essay on what I did last summer? Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?'