Puberty Humorist Pillows

"I think I've reached puberty Dad: My laugh is starting to be really deep!"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

The Devil making snow angels.

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

'I dressed myself.'

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"Sure, Mom's eager to get us back to school, but she could have stopped the car!"

Happy Birthday!

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

"There's definitely enough growing room."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

"Three junior meals and a vasectomy, please."

"I hope you love kids - there goes your boss."

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"