Puberty Pundit Pillows

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

'Why is it always about me?'

Sex Education

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

Hog magazine with litters to the editor dept.

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"As a cost-cutting measure, for our fall list we have decided to bypass traditional bookstore sales and subsequent remaindering, and instead go directly to the shredder."

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

Don Jr.