Mini Comedian Gifts

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

hey good lookin ( 'six summers' card range idea)

'In a few years, I'll marry Bill. I don't like him very much, that's why I start saving money now... Good divorce lawyers are expensive'!

'Michael, use your words. What do you say when someone takes your truck?'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

A baby playing on a grand piano

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

"Yes, I'm alone."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"I tested very high in playing."

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

The Amazing Mr Sausage