Little Comedians Gifts

'I tore my pants, Mom -- can you download a patch?'

The phone was on the blink, Mom, so I ordered a pizza on eBay!

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'It was a great birthday party till Jeffrey tried to fart his candles out.'

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

"I tested very high in playing."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

The Amazing Mr Sausage

Small boy teasing a priest by removing jesus from the cross and leaving a 'Back in five minutes' sign

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"He tried to attack me with this, but I managed to grab it from him and knock him out before he did me in."

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Our little girl has blossomed into quite the little complainer."

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'