Casual Comedians Gifts

BILL & YADDA-YADDA GATES foundation

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'She'll never look for me here.'

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

Infinity Tavern

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

The Month of August

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"Your accomplishments speak for themselves. Unfortunately for you, I'm completely fluent in exaggeration."

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

"And I suppose my greatest feature is that I don't mind kissing a little booty to get ahead!"

Modern Charm

"I've got a very responsible job. If anything goes wrong, I'm responsible."

'Tell me about yourself. If I stay awake, you've got the job.'

Memory Foam Mattress.

'Could I have a loan a cup of sugar please?'

'All this job requires is some mud-wallowing and snarling... I'd say you're overqualified.'

Man with t-shirt 'I *spade* my dog'.

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. George changed the toilet roll yesterday!"

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

Snake pulls prank posing for photo

Fencing Venn Graph