Baby Comedians Gifts

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'I kinda did.'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

"Our little girl has blossomed into quite the little complainer."

Gangster Babies

"Yes, I can see the excitement in Young Master's eyes and I can smell fear in Master and Mistress: looks like the school holidays are coming..."

Groom carries bride across threshold, goes back to carry in mother-in-law.

"It's your turn to change his diaper!"

"So, what are you doing for the rest of your life?..."

Baby thinks: I smile, they smile. I laugh, they laugh. I think they're teachable!

'Don't chew your food.'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

What will be the worst part about your first semester of college being online classes only? My little brother will be my freshman year roommate!

"I want you both to know that I'm unhappy about the way things are run around here, and there are going to be some changes made..."

"I guess we'd be considered a family. We're living together, we love each other, and we haven't eaten the children yet."