Virtual Comedian Gifts

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

Whiplash, 2020

Medusa on Zoom.

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Hardware and software

"Yes, I'm alone."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

Catroom.

"Doctor, I'm dying! Offer me your vaccine."

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

'Well it's obvious when we went through mitosis, the brain went to my side!'

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

A frat party at an online university

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"I thought about having children, until I found out they take nine months to download."

Virtual Magic Tricks

'Before you say anything, just let me change my Facebook status to ‘it's complicated'.'

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'