Internet Comedian Gifts

Content Street Vendor

A frat party at an online university

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

"I wish I knew you as well as Google does!"

"By ordering online you get a year's supply of junk mail."

"No, that's not nuclear strikes already, that's Facebook and Twitter exploding over the Trump win."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Chasebook

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Advertising on the internet.

Facebook For Dogs.

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"