Online Comedians Gifts

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

Chasebook

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"I just tweeted a chirp."

Giggle.

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

Catroom.

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

#NoJunk

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

'I'm just surfing the web.'

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

Memory Foam Mattress.

A frat party at an online university

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

"I made that video while doped up on catnip. That's why I'm warning you to stay away from drugs."

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"I thought about having children, until I found out they take nine months to download."