Computer Comedians Gifts

Dating computers.

Terry had a computer bug.

Hardware and software

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Religion and technology.

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

#NoJunk

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

A frat party at an online university

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'

"I thought about having children, until I found out they take nine months to download."

Content Street Vendor

"Try switching if off and on at the same time."