Tech-savvy Comedians Gifts

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

I've always been slower than computers...

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

Noah posted his first tweet.

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"That guys is stealing my data!"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

Google signwriter.

I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

'Universal remote, my eye!'

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

#NoJunk

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

Jim's Smart Kettle

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

Social network site runs into trouble.

Knights of the iPhone

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

Lizzie Borden in the 21st Century...

"Be careful of what you say. The CEO is listening in."