Computer Humorist Gifts

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

'You've been working with computer software too long, Timpleton.'

Hardware and software

'The bad news is your computer has a virus. The good news is it isn't possessed like you thought.'

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Religion and technology.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'Clean your Microsoft Windows mate?'

"This lap dog knows absolutely nothing about computers."

Terry had a computer bug.

"More activity and less time spent on the computer might solve your increased bandwidth problem."

"To save power, my dad goes into sleep mode. But, unlike a computer, he doesn't instantaneously awake and resume working."

"And in case of a data crash, this model has an airbag!"

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"OMG, LOL!"

Driverless cars rage.

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

Screen Time vs Book Time

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"Darn autocorrect!"

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

Chef copy robot

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'